Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

Last Updated: 30.06.2025 07:12

Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Did you know God exists? 900+ answers later and no atheist has yet to be successful. Day 8 of asking Atheists to provide a SINGLE argument that demonstrates a cause for the beginning of the universe while avoiding the problem of infinite regression.

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I can count

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It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

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I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I have a reading level above third grade

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

What is your opinion on Ukraine's reaction to Donald Trump saying they should have never started the war?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Why is Matt Gaetz being investigated but not Sarah (Tim) McBride? Why do we only care about grooming when it's the Republicans doing it?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

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I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

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I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Are you worried that the 2024 US presidential election will result in a close race?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

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I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

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I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I see through liars

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t buy bullshit

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I actually pay taxes

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand how hurricane paths work

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I can read

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”